


Butterfly Kisses Don't Really Feel Like Butterflies

by YouMayKnowMeAsAngel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drinking & Talking, Drinking Games, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouMayKnowMeAsAngel/pseuds/YouMayKnowMeAsAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Sirius clapped his hands together. “Truth or dare sound good?”</i>
</p>
<p>  <i>Remus let out a groan, and sunk down a bit in his chair. “That game always ends in mortification and tears.”</i></p>
<p>  <i>“Yeah, isn’t it fun?”</i></p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Remus Lupin's three rules for success: Never drink firewhiskey before the weekend, never fall for one of your best friends, and never EVER play truth or dare with a drunk Sirius Black. Guess who manages to break every one of those rules on the same night?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butterfly Kisses Don't Really Feel Like Butterflies

"Well, that's it. I'm officially smashed," Sirius slurred as he slammed his mug of firewhiskey down on the table.

Remus rolled his eyes and tried to concentrate on his book. "Of course you're smashed. That's your fifth drink."

Sirius smirked. "And that's the sixth time you've read that same line. See? I notice things too."

Remus' ears grew hot. He shut his book with a snap. "Maybe I could read more of it if there wasn't a drunken moron sitting across from me. Don't you have somewhere else to be? Where's James?"

Remus looked around the Gryffindor common room. Apart from him and Sirius it was empty, mostly because it was Friday night. Remus had originally come here for that very reason. He'd wanted somewhere quiet so that he could read his book in peace. Plus, it was the only time that the fluffy armchairs in front of the fireplace were unoccupied.

He had gotten around fifteen minutes of undisturbed reading before Sirius had barged in, plopped himself onto the other armchair, and deposited several bottles of firewhiskey on the table in front of him. He then proceeded to drink every last one of those bottles, using the mug that Peter had given him last Christmas.

The drunken boy in question was lounging in his seat, looking very much like a handsome prince who was extremely bored with whatever was going on around him. He rolled his eyes at Remus.

"Good ol' James is off wandering the moonlit grounds with his girl," Sirius grumbled.

Remus frowned. "You mean Lily Evans?"

"No, I mean Peeves," Sirius drawled. "Of course I mean Lily Evans! Who else would I be talking about!?"

Remus pursed his lips, and cracked open his book again. "Why don't you go find Peter then?"

"'Cuz Pete's in detention with McGonagal, you know that Remus," Sirius grunted. He had a habit of holding out the 's' in Remus' name when he was drunk. Remus tried very hard not to find it endearing.

In fact, there were a lot of things about Sirius that Remus tried very hard not to find endearing, but that wasn't important.

"There's no point in trying to finish that book," Sirius pointed out. "You're not going to get any further in it."

"Sirius, please go away."

"Why should I? I do so enjoy your company."

Remus looked up to find Sirius giving him Flirtatious Smirk #6. He wrote off the little flip his stomach did as poor digestion of the beef stew he'd eaten at dinner. He quickly turned back to his book before he did something stupid.

"You know, many girls would kill to be in my position," Sirius mused, "sitting by a fire with the infamously aloof Remus Lupin. All cozy."

Remus lifted his book so that it covered his face completely.

"And to think that he actually spoke to me! I'll be the talk of the school."

Remus' eyebrows slowly started to furrow together.

"My next diary entry is going to be very interesting, let me tell you that."

Remus forced himself to take a deep breath.

" _Dear diary, you will not believe what happened to me today. Remus Lupin, the love of my life, actually acknowledged my existence!_ "

The book came crashing down onto Remus' lap. He glared at his friend. "Why are you here, Sirius?"

The other boy smiled devilishly. "I already told you. I desired your company."

And all of a sudden, Remus was _mad_. He was not exactly sure why. Maybe it was because he had been looking forward to his private reading time all week, only to have it ruined by the most obnoxious berk in the school. Or perhaps it was the fact that the obnoxious berk was incredibly attractive, and Remus was _not supposed_ to think about him in that way because Remus was a good friend.

Not thinking about Sirius and his attractiveness was apparently very difficult, and wasn't aided by the fact that Sirius was a hopeless flirt. It certainly didn't help that Remus fell for every single one of his lines, no matter how stupid or cheesy. One smirk was all it took for Remus' knees to go weak and his face to heat up.

But that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was that Sirius _knew_.

Remus wasn't weak. For christ's sake, he turned into a werewolf once a month. He could handle a crush. However, having unrequented feelings for another person who knew about said feelings was something entirely different. Sirius could definitely see what he was doing to Remus. He noticed the blushes, the stammering, the averted eyes, and he didn't stop. If anything, it seemed to drive him on. The jerk continued to flirt shamelessly with Remus, and then would act as if nothing happened. He was wreaking havoc on Remus' sanity.

So Remus reasoned that's what drove him to say what he said next.

"You look like utter shit. What the hell happened to you?" he demanded.

Sirius blinked in surprise, as if he wasn't expecting Remus to lash out like that. The two boys stared at each other for a moment before Sirius turned towards the fireplace. He was silent for a long time. So long in fact that Remus began to wonder if he was going to ignore the question.

Then, with a soft mumble, Sirius spoke. "Marlene dumped me."

Remus froze. He stared in shock at his friend as guilt flooded him to the point of blushing. Sirius, for his part, continued to study the fire as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. He didn't look sad, but then again, Sirius was very good at hiding his feelings. Years of putting up with his family had built him strong barriers.

Personally, Remus hated those barriers. He knew that Sirius was a kind and caring person at heart, but he so often hid those traits in an effort to prove that the outside world didn't affect him. Remus had been Sirius' friend for almost seven years. He knew how to read him. At the moment, Sirius was trying very hard to hide how shitty he was really feeling.

"I'm sorry," Remus said softly, treading carefully.

As expected, Sirius snorted sarcastically. "Don't be. It was never going to last. The whole thing was purely for sexual reasons anyways."

Remus had suspected as much. "Nevertheless, you have a right to be upset."

Sirius glanced at him, raising a haughty eyebrow. "Upset? Please. I'm just pissed that she did it in front of all her little friends." He studied his empty mug before adding quietly, "Bitch."

Remus didn't know what to say to that, so he remained silent. Marlene McKinnon had always been an intriguing person, at least in Remus' eyes. She was a lot like Sirius. Marlene was very good looking, extremely popular, and incredibly careless. Sirius and her had gotten together during the Christmas of sixth year, and apparently just managed to make it to the winter of seventh year.

Marlene was also part of the reason why Remus loathed the crush he had on his friend. She, along with a large majority of the female population at Hogwarts, proved that Sirius was straight. Plus, how on earth was Remus supposed to measure up to the likes of Marlene McKinnon? She was every boy's wet dream.

"Well, don't just sit there," Sirius said loudly, interrupting Remus' thoughts. "Have a drink with me."

Remus glanced dubiously at the bottles that littered the table between them. "Is there any left?"

Sirius grabbed the bottle closest to him, inspected it, then threw Remus a grin. "This one's half full."

Remus, noticing and recognizing the dangerous glint in Sirius' eyes, quickly shook his head. "Nope. I think I'll stick with being sober, thanks."

"But Moony," Sirius pleaded, "drinking away your sorrows is only fun when you have someone to do it with you."

And then came the Big Puppy Dog Eyes. Sirius was truly an excellent pouter. He probably practiced in front of a mirror during his free time. He had the whole lip quivering thing down to an art. Remus was utterly powerless against it.

He sighed and took the bottle from Sirius, who fell back in his seat with a smirk of triumph. Git.

Remus studied the bottle warily before taking a tiny sip. The harsh liquid burned on the way down, but filled his stomach with the addictive warmth that made the drink so popular in the colder months. He licked his lips and took a decently sized swig.

"There we go! Now the fun can start," Sirius exclaimed.

Remus frowned at him while he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "What do you mean?" he asked warily.

Sirius grinned. "Drunken games!"

"What, between two people?" Remus cocked an eyebrow, proving that Sirius wasn't the only one who could play the part of the incredulous asshole. "That doesn't sound like it will be much fun."

"You're forgetting one major detail," Sirius hinted.

"Oh? And what is that?"

"You'll be playing with me. I always make things interesting." Sirius winked lewdly.

Remus wasn't sure if he had imagined the innuendo or if Sirius was just being his usual flirtatious self. Either way, it still made him blush like mad. He hoped the low light in the common room hid his face.

Sirius clapped his hands together. "Truth or dare sound good?"

Remus let out a groan, and sunk down a bit in his chair. "That game always ends in mortification and tears."

"Yeah, isn't it fun?"

Remus glared at him.

Sirius sighed dramatically, flopping back in his chair like a Victorian heroine. "Fine then. What do you suggest we do?"

"Well, seeing as I originally came in here to read by myself-"

"Wrong answer. We're playing truth or dare."

"Sirius-"

"Remus, I will not let you go through your last year at Hogwarts without having at least one drunken experience with me."

"So we're not counting the three drunken parties you threw last month?"

"Please, you were barely buzzed. Look, I'll go first if it makes you feel any better. Truth or dare me."

Remus considered arguing his point further, but he knew logically he would end up where he always did: Giving in to whatever Sirius Black wanted him to do.

He took another drink of firewhiskey to help steel himself. "Fine then. Truth or dare?"

Sirius tapped his chin, making a big show of thinking it over. "Hmmm. I'll pick truth."

Remus frowned. "Oh come on, that's not fair! I already know all your secrets!"

Sirius smirked condescendingly. "Please. You don't know everything."

"Really? What don't I know?" Remus challenged. He usually wouldn't be this brash. He blamed it on the liquor, and the fact that Sirius Black always got him a bit worked up.

_In more ways than one,_ his mind teased traitorously.

"Is that your question for me?" Sirius asked, drawing Remus back into the conversation.

"Um, no," Remus stammered. "What I meant to ask was…" He paused for a moment, then decided that he was genuinely curious. "What are the sort of things that you don't share with me?"

Sirius frowned, his head cocked to one side like a confused dog. "Do you mean you personally, or people as a whole?"

"Me personally," Remus said quickly. He didn't want Sirius to feel as though he had to bare his entire soul.

Sirius nodded. "Interesting question. Good one, Moony."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Just answer it."

Sirius hummed to himself, his gaze drifting up to the ceiling as he thought. "Well, I don't tell you about all the scores I get on exams and the like, mostly because you figure it out by yourself."

Remus nodded. He liked to check up on Sirius' work every once in a while. James called him an overprotective mother hen, but Remus just wanted to make sure that Sirius didn't look like a total dunce. It was frustrating when someone really bright didn't put in the amount of effort that they should. In Remus' opinion, Sirius deserved high marks.

"And I don't always tell you about the shit that James and I pull. You can probably guess why." Sirius threw Remus a smile.

Remus shrugged. "I usually find out about it anyways."

"Yeah, but only during the aftermath."

"That is true…"

Sirius chewed on his bottom lip. "Hmm…" A slow, dangerous smirk started to curl up his mouth. "Oh, and I certainly don't tell you about my sexual conquests."

Later on, Remus would remember the quickly significant glance that Sirius had thrown him. At the moment though, he was far too interested on the specific emphasis that Sirius had put on the word "you".

"What is that supposed to mean?" Remus demanded.

Sirius shrugged, still smirking. "Oh, nothing."

"Like hell that was nothing. There was some hidden meaning behind that statement," Remus' indignation was starting to build. He suspected that he was going to burst at any given moment.

Sirius, probably sensing this as well, was quick to speak again. "Don't worry about it."

Which of course made Remus worry about it. "Why don't you tell me about your sexual conquests?" He refused to acknowledge how suggestive that sounded. Dammit.

Sirius wagged a finger at him. "Nuh uh! You only get one question per truth."

Remus knew the rules, but he didn't care. Then again, perhaps it was better this way. He already had a pretty good idea about why Sirius didn't gift him with his tales of sex and nudity. It was probably because Remus had no sex life to speak of. Sirius was known to call him a "bloody prude" on a semi-regular basis. Why on earth would Sirius share anything with a useless virgin?

Feeling very depressed, Remus gulped down more of his drink (he was almost finished with it) and sunk deep into his armchair.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Don't pout."

"I'm not pouting," Remus pouted.

"Yeah, whatever. Truth or dare?"

Remus, who had temporarily forgotten that he was actually expected to play a part in this ridiculous game, blinked in surprise and stammered. "Erm, truth?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Is that a question or an answer?"

Remus shook his head, cursing the world for being stupid in general. "An answer. I pick truth."

Sirius moaned, tipping back his head. "God, you're dull! Why don't you pick dare?"

"'Cuz I'm not a bloody idiot, that's why!" Remus bit out. "Picking dare will only lead to me doing something extremely stupid, you laughing your ass off, and me not being able to hear the end of it for a month!"

Sirius threw his hands in the air. "That's the whole point of truth or dare!" he cried, "You either get embarrassing questions, or you have to do embarrassing stuff! It's how you play the game!"

"I _am_ playing the game, and I choose truth," Remus snapped. He folded his arms across his chest like a petulant five year old.

The two boys glared at each other. Remus knew he was playing a dangerous game, and it wasn't truth or dare. Sirius Black was plenty mischievous when he was sober, but when he was drunk, he was downright dastardly. He could give Slytherins a run for their money.

So Remus wasn't that surprised by his next question.

"When was the last time you kissed a girl?" Sirius said with a challenging smile.

Remus ground his teeth together. This was rubbing salt in the wound of Sirius' previous implication of Remus' prudish virginity. But Remus was a good sport, and being a good sport meant that he had to put up with some major misdemeanors in order to get through his day.

Still, that question was really unfair.

"You were there," Remus muttered, doing his best not to look at Sirius.

"I was…there?" He sounded confused.

Remus nodded.

"…I'm sorry Moony, but I think I'd remember if I kissed you."

Remus flushed from head to toe. "Not you, nitwit! It was at the Christmas party last year!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows in surprise. "The Christmas party? Are you talking about the time you kissed Ingrid Mathews under the mistletoe?"

Remus, who was surprised that Sirius had remembered, was thrown back for a moment. "Um, yeah. I thought you didn't notice."

Sirius snorted. "Please. Everyone noticed the way she was slobbering all over you."

Remus winced. "God, don't remind me. She really couldn't kiss at all." He paused, thinking it over. "But as first kissing partners go, I supposed I could have done worse. Ingrid Mathews is very pretty."

"Ingrid Mathews? She doesn't really seem your type."

Remus looked up to find Sirius staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "Not my type? How do you mean?"

Sirius waved his hands around as he talked, something that he did when he had a large audience to watch him. "Well, she's good looking enough. Those legs probably go all the way up to her chin. But you've never seemed like an Ingrid Mathews sort of lad."

Remus smiled, holding back a snicker. Drunk Sirius was always funny when he went into explanation mode. "Really? And what sort of lad do you think I am?"

Sirius leaned forward in his chair, squinting his eyes as he studied Remus very closely. "I would say you're a…funny, smart, and good looking lad."

Remus blushed a little bit and quickly averted his eyes. He let himself imagine for a moment that Sirus was talking about him, and not about the type of girls he should date.

He shrugged. "It's not like anything came of it anyways."

Remus could remember the day after the Christmas party. Peter had shaken him awake early in the morning, and told him that Ingrid wanted to see him. He crawled out of the boy's dormitory with bleary eyes and a hangover. Remus then had to listen to a horrible, awkward speech about how he shouldn't expect anything just because Ingrid had kissed him. Apparently, she was extremely against having a relationship with him.

He remembered his heart sinking to somewhere around his stomach region. He was being rejected. Again.

Remus could honestly care less about Ingrid Mathews. She had kissed him, and he hadn't planned on doing anything about it. It just sucked that she felt the need to tell him to piss off, as if he would come leaping after her like a brainless fool.

As if it couldn't get any more pathetic, Remus knew that there was an entire other reason for why he was upset. He may have kissed Ingrid Mathews at that Christmas party, but she wasn't the one he wanted to be kissing. The person whom he wanted to kiss was too busy singing horrible versions of Christmas carols with James by the punch bowl.

Remus would never be able to forget Sirus Black's rendition of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. (It had involved a charmed goat that someone had managed to smuggle in.)

"She blew you off, didn't she?"

Remus chuckled softly to himself, not daring to meet Sirius' eyes. "Yup. The very next day. Goes to show what alcohol can make you do in the heat of the moment."

"Christ. If I ever see Mathews again, I might hex her nose off."

Remus stared at Sirius, who looked strangely livid. He shifted forward in his chair. "Why would you do that?"

Sirius' glare focused on him. "'Cuz I care about you, idiot! I don't want to see you get hurt."

Remus swallowed audibly, and quickly tried to hide his embarrassment. "You don't need to worry about me. I can handle Mathews by myself. Besides, it's not like you could have done anything. You were too busy getting together with McKinnon that night."

And dear Merlin that had not meant to come out as bitter as it did. Thankfully, Sirius seemed too worked up to notice.

The drunken boy scoffed. "Well I wouldn't have started up with McKinnon if I had known that…" He trailed off, his face turning an interesting shade of pink. He quickly went to take a drink out of his mug, realized that it was empty, and slammed it down on the table.

"If you had known what?" Remus asked, eyeing him curiously.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

" _Nothing_. Weren't we playing a game?"

"Um, yes, we were," Remus said slowly. He supposed that if Sirius didn't want to talk about Marlene, he shouldn't have to.

"Right. Truth or dare me," Sirus demanded, hooking one leg over an armrest in an obvious attempt to appear nonchalant and bored.

Remus decided to not comment on it. He cleared his throat. "Right then. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Really? No dare?"

Sirius snorted. "As if I'm going to let you dare me. Who knows what goes on in that big brain of yours?"

"Only the unimaginable," Remus bantered back.

They smiled at each other.

Remus thought through his options. He suspected that he owed Sirius an embarrassing question, since the whole Ingrid Mathews story had been mortifying. He also wanted to prove that he wasn't a prude, so…

"What's the weirdest thing that you ever had to do in the bedroom?"

Sirius' eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. His smirk popped back onto his face as he looked Remus up and down. "Getting right into it, aren't we Moony?"

Remus, who refused to be embarrassed this time, smirked right back. "Only if you answer, Padfoot."

Sirius smirk widened into a full on grin. He leaned forward in his seat, took a deep breath, and said dramatically, "I've had sex with a lot of people."

That definitely deserved an eye roll. "I know, Sirius."

"Don't get all sarcastic, I wasn't done yet!"

"Just get on with it."

"Like I was saying, I've had sex with a lot of people, and I've had to do some strange shit over the years. But this one time, I was buggering that Ravenclaw prefect Gregory Jones, and he-"

Remus' eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

Sirius paused in his story. "What's wrong?"

"You had sex with _Gregory Jones?!_ "

Sirius sighed. "I know he isn't that good looking, but I think he has a decent-"

"But he's a bloke!" Remus exclaimed.

The common room was very silent for around a full minute. The two boys stared at each other. Sirius' expression was filled with of surprise, confusion, and a good deal of amusement. Remus' expression seemed to be trying to mix shock with constipation, which was not a good look.

Sirius broke the silence. "Yes Remus, I am aware that Gregory Jones is in fact a bloke." He was obviously trying very hard not to laugh.

Remus, who had just realized what he had both done and said, stuttered heavily in an attempt to explain himself. "I mean, n-not that there's anything…anything wrong with that. You know that I'm completely, um, accepting and such. I just didn't really expect you to, erm…"

Sirius finally gave up and burst out into loud guffaws. "You should see the look on your face! Christ Moony, you're telling me that you seriously didn't know that I like boys too?"

Remus sputtered. "I…well…"

Sirius was positively snickering. "I didn't exactly go out of my way to hide it!"

Remus was sure that his face was glowing. "I just thought that you were a compulsive flirt! It's not like you told me or anything!"

Sirius stopped laughing to fix Remus with a Look. "Would you rather me shout it from the top of the Astronomy Tower? You know that's not me."

Remus paused to think about it. "I suppose you're right about that."

Sirius studied him, his drunken gaze suddenly becoming much clearer. "I didn't think that you would react like that. Especially since, well, you know…"

Remus' eyes snapped up to him. "What?"

"You're like me, right?"

Remus sucked in a deep breath. He supposed that since the subject had finally come up, he might as well be truthful. Honesty was something that the Marauders valued. It meant trust.

Remus nodded slowly. "Yes. I like girls as well as…boys."

Sirius held eye contact with him. "You don't have to sound so scared about it. It's not like it's a big deal."

It kinda is, Remus wanted to say.

But, then again…

Sirius was accepting of it. James probably knew about Sirius' preferences, so he must be fine with it all. And Peter, well, he would happily go along with whatever the rest of them did.

Remus supposed that being bisexual (God he was actually admitting it now, wasn't he?) wouldn't be that different from being a werewolf. Some people would hate him and some people would be uncomfortable. He would definitely have to keep it a secret, since he didn't have the charisma and power that Sirius Black seemed to excrete on a daily basis. But, as long as the people he cared for the most accepted him for who or what he was, then why should it matter?

If being a student at Hogwarts had taught him anything, it was that Remus was always welcome somewhere. Dumbledore had been so quick to accept him and to take certain measures to ensure his safety and the safety of his fellow students. His friends had become animagi in order to make sure that he was never alone.

Remus Lupin truly had nothing to fear. If he could handle being a werewolf, then he could bloody well handle being bisexual.

He smiled at Sirius, who seemed to understand what he had just gone through. The other boy reached out and patted him on the knee.

"Can I finish my story now?"

Remus let out a little laugh, and settled back in his seat. "Yes. Go on ahead."

"Now, as I was saying before you had your little sexuality crises," Sirius waved a dismissive hand in Remus' direction, "Gregory Jones is really into that muggle hippie flower crap."

Remus cocked his head to one side in confusion.

Sirius huffed impatiently. "That free loving shit. Anyways, he wanted me to cover him with butterfly kisses."

Remus remained in his confused state.

Sirius grinned at him, clearly expectant of some appropriate reaction. "Butterfly kisses! He wanted me to cover him with butterfly kisses! And in order to get off with him, I had to do it! Weirdest thing yet." Sirius slumped back into his armchair, his story now done.

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. "Butterfly kisses?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, you know, the eyelash thing."

Remus was quiet. Eyelash thing?

Sirius, who apparently had just caught on, straightened immediately. "Wait, don't tell me you don't know what a butterfly kiss is!"

Remus wrinkled his nose. "Um, should I? It sounds strange."

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, it is. It's when you-" He stopped suddenly, a strange look on his face.

Remus knew that look. It was the same look that James would get when he just thought of another lunatic idea that would probably land them all in detention.

Remus was instantly wary. "What?"

Sirius leaned towards him. "Why don't I show you?"

Remus blinked. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Um, I don't think I did. Did you just ask to show me?"

"Yup," Sirius said with a grin, popping the 'p'.

Remus imagined that his brain split into three different sections. Part of him was urging him to say yes to Sirius, while another part was strongly against it. The rest of him was mainly confused.

He grimaced, cleared his throat, and then tried to speak. "You're joking, right?"

Sirius shook his head slowly, not breaking eye contact. "Nope. I'm dead serious. I am very willing to show you what a butterfly kiss is."

Well, that answered that question. "Why can't you just explain it to me?"

Sirius shrugged. "It's more of a hands-on kind of thing."

"I don't believe that."

"Are you saying no then?" Sirius asked, his eyes narrowing.

Remus let out a hysterical little laugh. "I don't even care about what a butterfly kiss is! I'm not the slightest bit curious!"

"I don't believe that."

Remus leaned forward in his seat with a glare. He was surprised to find that he was a little bit upset. "Don't use my words against me."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine. I dare you to let me show you what a butterfly kiss is."

Remus opened and closed his mouth several times like a gasping fish. "That's not how the game works!" he protested, "You're supposed to let me choose truth or dare!"

Sirius practically growled. He gripped the armrests of his chair so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "I'm drunk, I just went through a nasty breakup, and I'm going to show you what a butterfly kiss is if it kills me!"

Sirius suddenly hauled himself out of his chair, and purposefully marched over to Remus' seat. Remus' eyes widened as he took in his friend's looming form. Sirius leaned down and placed both of his hands on the armrests of the chair, effectively caging Remus in.

Remus leaned back as far as he could. He had to say something. Anything. "Um, Sirius…"

"Shut up."

He was really close now. Remus licked his lips. "This is a very bad idea."

Sirius huffed out a small laugh. "You say that about all of my ideas."

"Yeah, mostly because they're all bad ide-"

Remus was cut off when Sirius suddenly moved towards his face. At this proximity, Remus was able to notice that Sirius smelled like firewhiskey, rain, and a uniquely wonderful scent that was purely Sirius Black. It was intoxicating.

Remus' eyes fluttered shut of their own accord. Nothing happened for a moment, a moment that seemed to stretch into an eternity.

_What's he doing? Why isn't he doing anything?_ Remus found himself wondering. The anticipation was killing him.

And then he felt it. The faintest of brushes on his right cheek. It was there, and then it was gone.

Remus opened his eyes—why had he closed them exactly?—and stared up into the grinning face of Sirius Black.

"That was it?" he found himself saying.

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Were you expecting more?"

"I…" Remus didn't know what he had been expecting, but that was not it. "Did you rub your eyelashes on my face?"

Sirius nodded, looking extremely arrogant and self-satisfied.

Remus suddenly realized something. "Wait, it's called a butterfly kiss. Was that supposed to feel like a butterfly?"

Sirius frowned. "Um, yeah?"

Remus found himself laughing. "That did not feel like a butterfly! It felt like someone rubbing their eyelashes against my face!"

It was now Sirius' turn to blush and stutter. "That's what butterflies feel like!"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "You do know what a butterfly is, right?"

"You're unbelievable," Sirius grumbled. He looked angry, but Remus could see the laughter in his eyes.

"And you're crazy, thinking _that_ feels like a butterfly."

"Don't blame me! It's a muggle thing!" Sirius claimed.

"I'm part muggle!" Remus shouted between laughs, "I should know this!"

"Well it's not my fault that you're a horrid half-blood!"

"Spoken like a true pureblood!"

"You bet your arse I'm a true pureblood! I mean, if you look over the fact that I'm a blood traitor and all."

And now they were both laughing about something that was really not that funny once you thought about it. Remus felt as though he was twelve again, giggling his head off at some stupid joke that Sirius had just made. Everything had been much simpler back then. The darkness of the world seemed very far away from the school that the Marauders called home.

The two boys laughed themselves breathless like the pair of fools they were. Remus was the first to calm down fully, since he was the one that hadn't drunk five bottles of firewhiskey. It was then he realized that they were still extremely close to one another. Sirius was still gripping his chair, and Remus had leaned towards him in his laughter.

Sirius seemed to realize this too, because as soon as he calmed down, his eyes met Remus' and held. Remus' mouth lay partly open, and every breath that Sirius exhaled filtered into his mouth. He could practically taste Sirius on his tongue.

Sirius' eyes flicked down to Remus' mouth. He looked up, as if asking for permission. Remus sucked in a breath as the other boy began to lean down.

_Nope._

Remus suddenly shoved Sirius away from him. He leapt up from his chair, his hands traveling to pull at his hair as he realized what had almost happened.

"Moony…"

Remus whirled around to find Sirius sprawled out on the floor, looking very confused and a tiny bit hurt.

"Moony," he repeated, "what on earth-"

"No. No, don't you start," Remus said, shaking his head hurriedly from side to side.

"What-"

"You _know_ ," Remus snapped. He began to pace with angry, stomping steps in front of the fireplace. "You know, and yet you continue to push me, t-to tease me, and I need you to stop because I can't take it anymore!"

Sirius slowly got to his feet. He looked at Remus warily, as if he were a wild animal. "Moony, Remus, what do you mean?"

Remus groaned, turning his back to his friend. Sirius wasn't seriously asking him to spell it out, was he? "The flirting, the teasing, the touching, you do it all the time!"

Sirius was silent.

"I don't understand why you do it, when you know about how I…" He stopped. He couldn't make himself say it.

"How you…?" Sirius prompted gently from behind him.

"How I feel," Remus hissed through gritted teeth. "It's not fair that you put me through this, how it's all just some big joke to you when it makes me think as though it means something!"

"It's not a joke to me."

Remus turned around swiftly, giving Sirius the strongest glare he could. "Really? It's not a joke to you?"

Sirius nodded, his face unreadable.

Remus let out a harsh laugh. "Then I suppose that I'm to conclude that it all actually means something, huh? Is that what this is?"

"I didn't know!" Sirius snapped, making Remus jump. "I had no idea that you felt that way!"

It takes a moment for Remus to recover, but then the anger comes roaring back. "That's bullshit and you know it! You can't be that blind."

Sirius glowered at him, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Of course I noticed things! For god's sake, I've known you like blokes for ages! It's just that I…" he trailed off. Sirius groaned, one hand coming up to rub at his face.

Remus stared at him, not wanting to say anything for fear of interrupting something important.

Sirius took a deep breath, then began to speak again. He kept his hand where it was, covering the top half of his face. "You were alway something special to me, Remus. I mean, I cared for you as a friend, but then it just became something else entirely." The anger was very apparent in his voice. "Things got too out of hand, and it got to the point where I couldn't look at you without wanting to kiss you."

Remus opened his mouth to say something, he wasn't sure what, but Sirius held up his other hand to stop him.

"No, you gotta' let me finish," he insisted.

Remus closed his mouth with a small click of teeth.

Sirius removed the hand that was covering his face. He addressed the floor. "You would blush and get all flustered whenever I teased you or anything, but besides that you never did anything to show me that you liked me as more than a friend." He paused. "And then you had to go and kiss Ingrid Mathews at the Christmas party."

Remus' eyebrow twitched a little. "But, nothing happened between us-"

"Well I know that _now_ ," Sirius interrupted with his usual annoyed drawl, "but what was I supposed to think then? The only reason I got together with McKinnon was because I thought you would never show any interest."

"Then why did you…" Remus started.

"Keep flirting?" Sirius guessed with a sigh. "Because you kept blushing and getting all flustered, and I liked seeing you like that." He shrugged, and looked up at Remus from beneath his eyelashes. "I wanted to be selfish."

Remus could only stare. This could all be a joke, he told himself. He could be pranking you.

And yet, it kind of made sense.

Before the Christmas party, Remus couldn't remember Sirius dating anybody. Now that he thought about it, Sirius hadn't been seeing anyone the year before either. Remus also remembered when Sirius had gotten together with Marlene. He hadn't looked at him that whole day, and had occasionally asked questions about Ingrid Mathews.

There was also the fact that Sirius looked very honest and open at the moment. The only other time that Remus had seen him like this was after the huge fight he had with James in fourth year, and then apologized to his face about it. His expression matched the one he wore now; sad, hopeful, and full of self-deprecation.

"I didn't know…" Remus began to say.

Sirius smiled a little. "I guess you could say that we're both rubbish at this, huh?"

Remus huffed a bit in amusement. "Yeah."

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunching over. "Were you serious about the whole feelings thing?"

Remus blushed and looked away. "Uh, yes. Yes I was."

"Good."

Remus' eyes snapped up to Sirius, who was giving him that crooked grin that always made his heart skip. He watched as his friend walked up to him, until he was as close as they had been in the armchair.

Sirius lifted one hand to cup the back of Remus' neck. "If you don't mind, I'm going to kiss you now," he said with a straight face.

Remus let out a little laugh. "Well, if you must."

And Sirius' lips were against his. His smell was everywhere again, and Remus breathed him in as they moved against each other. Sirius put his other hand around Remus' back to pull him closer. They fit together perfectly, almost like two pieces of a puzzle. Remus cursed at himself over and over again for not doing this sooner because Sirius' lips felt and tasted wonderful.

Remus reveled in the way that way that Sirius' breath hitched when he sucked his bottom lip in-between his teeth. He was pretty sure that his brain shut off completely when Sirius tilted his head _just_ so, and the new angel allowed for better access. At some point tongues became a part of the kiss, and everything got more heated.

Sirius pulled away to direct his attention to Remus' jaw and neck, and Remus could only clutch at him and breath heavily over his shoulder. Never in his wildest dreams could he imagine this happening. Sirius Black was kissing him, and it was utterly fantastic.

When they finally broke apart, Remus was sure that he was sporting a hickey underneath his right ear. Sirius smirked at it, rubbing his finger over it. His lips were puffy from kissing, and his pupils were blown to the extreme. He looked gorgeous.

Remus, suddenly hit with a random whim, leaned forward and brushed his eyelashes against Sirius' cheek. He smiled at Sirius' bemused expression as he pulled away.

"You know, I think you're right," Sirius said, "that did not feel at all like a butterfly."

Remus smiled. "Best leave it to the muggles then."

Sirius nodded, his eyes on Remus' lips. "And Gregory Jones."

Remus pulled him closer with a small growl. "Gregory Jones can keep his butterfly kisses to himself."

Sirius laughed, and gave Remus a closed mouth kiss that tasted like firewhiskey. "Noted."

Remus paused, another thought striking him. "What are we going to tell the others?"

Sirius stared at him. "James and Peter? They've been expecting it."

"What?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. James has been waiting for the longest time for us to 'figure our shit out' or something. You should have seen how mad he was when I got together with McKinnon. Wouldn't talk to me for a week."

"No one would blame me, what with you shaking up with her when Moony was right under your nose."

Sirius and Remus leapt away from each other to find James and Lily standing in front of the opened portrait entryway. They were huddled close to each other, covered in snow from outside. Lily was staring at them with a mixture of shock and amusement, while James looked immensely smug.

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, how long have you been standing there?"

James shrugged, throwing them a wicked grin. "Oh, long enough."

Lily smiled at them. "I'm glad you two finally figured it out."

Sirius let out a frustrated moan, and threw his hands up in the air. "Oh, come one! Did everyone know about this but me?"

James nodded enthusiastically. "Yup. Everyone. Well, except Remus of course, and maybe Marlene. Then again, that's probably why she never put out fully with you—Oof!"

Sirius launched himself at James, and the two of them began their usual scuffle on the common room floor. Lily shared a look with Remus, shrugged, then made her way over to the armchairs, stepping over James and Sirius as they rolled around on the ground.

Remus could only smile. How could he have thought that kissing Sirius would change anything?

**Author's Note:**

> Dear god that was really fluffy. And sentimental. And a bit ridiculous. I'm gonna go ahead and assume the position of a slightly regretful author. (However, if anyone liked it, go ahead and leave a kudo. I need that kind of support so that I can continue making fluffy junk.)
> 
> Until next time!


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